Wade Churchill; Have We Been Sucked in by a Narcissist?

 

By Scarlette McCallum Nakamura

 

Last week, Hawaii belonged to Wade Churchill.  His essay, which might have been dismissed as the ramblings of a provocateur, stirred fury in many people.  

 

For those of us who have lived with one, worked with one, or who co-parent with one, the telltale signs of a narcissist in operation are abundantly clear; their grandiosity, the frenzy around them, the distortion of information, the convoluted logic, the absence of substantiation, their dubious background information, their lack of empathy, and especially the unconscionable pathologizing of the victim.

 

As with any person or collective who tries making sense of narcissist, the focus inevitably shifts from discussions about ideology (free speech) and the plight of victims (the best interest of children), to being all about the narcissist. 

 

Then, we become hyper-vigilant. We do things like, write lots of letters, print caricatures and upload mp3 files, investigate bogus claims of heritage and obsess about ways to catch him in the lie.  All the while, we believe the substance of our reaction is of consequence, yet to a character like Wade Churchill, it is the reaction in and of itself (and the subsequent feeding of his grandiosity) that matters most.  The narcissist enjoys all kinds of attention.

 

Rather than being sucked into the vortex of Wade Churchill’s exploitations, perhaps we should practice what psychologists describe as self soothing; take a deep breath, stretch out, stifle a little yawn, and mutter, “Sure Wade, whatever you say”. 

 

After that, thank our lucky stars we aren’t raising children with this man.